1st through 4th Grade was a time where Andra began to show signs of improvement though it was slow, and sometimes a very painful process. It was during 1st grade that we decided maybe the best thing was to let her start learning how to handle situations on her own, and learn from them. We would still be there, but we also needed to start teaching her coping skills she could develop and use as time progressed.

We wouldn’t always be there to cushion her fall, or protect her when she panicked. She needed to learn some skills to cope on her own. It was also time for me to learn to pull back, and let go. Letting go was difficult, but in the long run the dividends would be worth it.

Since we consciously chose not to medicate in order to alleviate her symptoms, we had to be determined in our choice of letting her learn how to deal on her own. We were there to guide her, but as we pulled back from intervening at every “crisis”, she began to blossom showing that she had the capability to cope when needed.

We had made a fateful decision the previous year, which inevitably played a big role in Andra’s skill building. We enrolled her in the local Karate school. The instructor was wonderful, and exercised the right amount of discipline and care bringing about a real change as she grew. In the beginning it was difficult, she struggled with issues of people in her space, noise, over stimulation, paying attention, keeping focus, and having to do things that made her uncomfortable.

With the help of the Karate instructor, and a caring first grade teacher Andra was learning the skills to handle her journey of coping with ASD, and all the other diagnosis she had been saddled with in her young life. There were ebbs and flows along the way, but we were determined she learned the skills she would need to deal with her life and not be dependent on medications to cope. It may have been the harder road, but as she progressed we realized it was worth it.

There were still some days when, we recognized that the ASD, and Anxiety were still there, but they weren’t as pronounced. As long as we stuck to our plan, the chances of Andra being able to assimilate into “normal” social situations would be greater. As she progressed, we began to take her issues in stride. It was such a surreal time, lulling us into believing that all of her issues were disappearing. By the start of third grade, we were convinced she was “normal”, somewhat “whole” again.

Third grade turned out to be the year we realized that her challenges were still very real. As my husband and I sat in line waiting to pick up the girls from school, we watched as some of the kids played on the playground. We saw Andra “playing” with the other kids. She was running, acting as if they were chasing her and she was chasing them. We also saw our oldest daughter on the playground with her group of friends. The group would go one way, and Andra would go another. Strange, I thought.

When the girls bounded in the car, we asked them how their day was. Andra responded that she was playing tag with our oldest daughter and her friends. Our oldest, looked at her confused. “No you weren’t,” she stated, “we weren’t even playing tag.” She was still parallel playing, which was normal play for her.

There were other signs the kids in her class had begun to realize that she was different, and Andra began telling us the other kids were being mean to her or not talking to her. She came home muddy because someone pushed her and she fell in the mud. The teacher thought she was playing in the mud, reprimanding her in front of her classmates for creating such a mess. She began to feel left out and not wanting to go back.